Christmas Day!

Well, this year has been a crazy year. But its been awesome!!! I found my long time Jr high crush again!! Thats been the highlight of my year! Im so happy! Christmas is like always.. nothing since we have never in my life once celebrated it. So its just been another normal day for me. I stayed the night at Bonnies house which they got home at like 4am. so me and my man just watched movies and then fell asleep.. lame i know but hey what more can i do... Then Macho pops up this morning and takes him away from me...:( so i just went home to catch some more sleep.. boring christmas huh.. lol yeah well we had to work christmas eve tilll 11, which sucked and it was soo freakin cold outside when we left so there wasnt much i'd wanna do in the freakin cold. but it was nice to just go home and lay with my baby! Well... I get freakin paid friday!!! I need to get an oil change. bad! ive been waiting to long and my poor car is in need of some help. Then on Saturday im thinking of taking TJ out for a nice dinner and a movie or something of the sort, Maybe bring his son depends on the baby momma drama! But he deserves it hes an awesome boyfriend, he tries really hard, and i have no idea why hes already freakin awesome anyways!!! Well.. im gunna gets going... joyto the world! peace and love to all. and a happy new year!!! love yousssss xxooo

Snowed In!

Today sucked soo bad, there was soo much snow no one could see anything. So i stayed home. But its Sunday so i guess i was suppose to anyways. I just really miss my baby, I havent been able to spend anytime with him because im working 3p-12a. It really really sucks! Yesterday was the only day i got to spend quality time with him. Monday starts another work week... monday thru friday 3p to 12a! Im miserable without him. I love him so freakin much.


My friend Alexis that i used to go to school with her boyfriend works with me. His seat is right next to me. lol hes a goof ball. Good ppls. Danielle is working now too but her location is at the college for the next 4 weeks so i dont get to see her. Im at the head office. We got our badges and our clock in stuff. Im suppose to bring in my check for direct deposit. If i wanted to transfer to another state i can. IF i wanted to transfer to Australia since everyone knows thats my goal in life i could. The Corporate office is in Colorado, Denver i think. No.... i dont plan on tranfering anytime soon and if i did it would prolly be when TJ decides to move to FL ill transfer to over there to be with him. Until then... we will be here trying to get a place.

Well.... Anyone who read this check out Damien Rice " 9 Crimes" that song is freakin awesome im sure if u watch Greys Anatomy or Shrek 3 uve hurd it before. Believe me.. its a good song. Laters .. love u baby MUAHSSS XXOO

Its beginning to look alot like Christmas!

UGghh.. we had snow today, and really bad it was! Sucked driving threw it, i had to take TJ with me to pick up my brother from school cause i was so nervious, i couldnt see anything and i almost got hit like 3 times. Freakin retarted drivers! Anyways on to the good stuff Tj got a nother job its pretty much in the bag. well i got him the job where i work! Im sooo freakin excited! Now we can actually save enough money for his warrent and then get a place! Fuck the world. I hate what ppl have to say! Im in love with a wonderful man and if u cant see it, thats ur problem but nothing and no one is going to come in between us!
i had a Dr. Apt today, it sucked but i got some meds so i can get better i have to get X rays on my Knee. It was so cute TJ said that when im all old and my knee dont work no more that he will happily rub bengay on it for me! How freakin sweet!!! i love him so much! I cant wait till we get our place, He asked me today if i wanted to be his wife... im like baby i love you ill be ur wife! I wish ppl could see what i see in him. Yeah ok hes dramatic and can be an ass sometimes but who cant? Everyone can! He makes up for it. He makes me laugh soooo freakin hard, he makes me feel sooo damn hot! And i dont have to wear makeup all the time, i can throw my hair in a pony and thats fine he loves it.. lol Im so happy right now. i havent been hapy for such along time. i dunno what i was doing. The past 3 years have been a complete failure and in some ways a waste of time. I was fighting for a guy who... yeah really dont know why but lies! Who i feel in some ways doesnt truly know what love is. Which is ok alot of ppl dont know what it is or how to deal with it. When it hits you you know, and u know how to handel it when its real! I have my love right now and im not letting him go for anyone! I dont care cut me off! U cant stop my happiness! FUCK THE WORLD!!! :D


well.. i think iam having a reaction to my meds cause i just broke out with bumps all on my boob! I gotta go have my mommy look at them... laterssssss

Life is GREAT!

Everything is going wonderfully!! i have one of the best men in my life. Tj u are wonderful and i love you soo much! I dunno what i was doing without him.but im glad everything is how its suppose to be now!! I LOVE YOU BABY! YOu mean soo much to me!

Lastnight!

I had a awesome time lastnight. TJ was a lil pissy in the beginning cause hes getting tore up by fleas. but after he smoked a bowl and had 2 40's he was good! And drunk.. lol Danielle (Bonnie) and I did nails. I didnt feel like doin mine so i just did hers they came out good. But like always one had is better then the other. It was fun and Tony and my brother spent a while in the basement tearing apart a generator they seemed to have fun. It was calm and easy yesterday. Oh Hope is here from North Carolina, BLAHHHHHHH I saw her when i was taking Talisa home and she was talking a bunch of blarzark. But like TJ says gurls are allowed to play fake. And i agree, i play fake with people all the time. and im damn good at it. :D WEll im not sure whats going on today, ill prolly go and see my baby! maybe .... well i dunno im just really waiting for next weekend. He sounds really ampted about it. So he makes me wanna get there already!! The cutest thing was lastnight he said i got 3 days off straight for work, im like yeah... hes like I LOVE YOU SALEENA!!! all loud, im like I LOVE YOU TOO TJ! lol Silly gooose you! lol but he wouldnt stop yelling it.. lol hes such a corn ball! Well... im gunna get dressed and get my day started. LIke i said lastnight to you.... Im not holding my breathe! and you know who u are... byeszzzxxoo

On to new things.. Out with the old!!!!

Alright.... All this shit started on Sept. 28th 2007.... Tj and i got into a big fight.. about some stupid bitch named Vetto! So on the 29th i picked him up from work and we talked and hung out at that point things had gotten better. So we went to his boys house Tony and his gurl Bonnie AWESOME ppl!!! Well tell me why that stupid bitch calls my phone lookin for my man! No then try and disrespect me! No dont fly! Ive had enough chics starting shit and ruinin my relationships im not bouts to have another ugly ass bitch fuck wit me! Never again. Anyways! We squashed that skruby bitch and things between me and TJ are great. i havent been so happy in a long as time. And my new bestfriend Bonnie! Things are looking up! I cut Micheal off cause like everyone says a third party isnt needed. its just two of us.. thats how its suppose to be. Oct 20th is sweeties day and he gave me a lil present early. He shaved off his mustache!!! I was soooo happy, it was weird thou cause im not used to seein him without it. i kinda felt like i was cheating! lol but hey.. he still feels the same! :D So i think he wants to go out to a movie on sweeties day like a double date with Bonnie and Tony, but Bonnie is having a Pure Romance party the same day so im not sure all that can go down. But yeah. we will see he has some suprises up his sleeves. Well... im getting off here! im sleepy, time for my nap before class!! laters all you fuckin haterssssssss!!

Playin with FIRE!!! ( not really)

Soooo yeah....... Long time no post... so lets see whats new!

T.J and I have been i guess u can call together for a few now. Its weird bein with him since i had a lil crush on him since i was 13. Crazy things happen. but hes a good guy, he makes me laugh hard and cry very little!
I cant wait till school starts. i have a online tutor named Micheal A Bach, he put himself up for the challange.Not much else is going on here.. just chillin and bein a bum till school starts. OO yeah i talked to Derrick and hes married with a baby! Congrats to yall! Hope ur life works well for ya! lol im a big meanie.. lol but anyways. Tim and Keesha are starting to talk about a place for the wedding... i hope it gets done soon. I cant wait! and idont want to be a pregenant brides maid! So yeah within the next years or so would be good! Gotta give Micheal time to gets over here for that wedding.. Tim cant get married without ya! So be prepared! To everyone here ur still the love of my life!! lol you gotta love my family... cause they all love you!
Seth Called me today, he said hes gunna beat up TJ for makin me a bad gurl.. lol Shoots its always been deep down inside!! lol YAll just aint know it yet! Tj has decided that he wants me to have his babygirl. He has talked about it for the past few weeks. Babe.. in time if we are gunna be together forever then yes i will give u a baby gurl, just not right now! :D
alrighty... i think im gunna go to sleep. im kinda tired! Laters

My soon to be Vacation!!

Well on Sunday Iam leaving to Colorado! Whoopy! lol OR so i thought it would be, Im having a really hard time right now. TJ is in my life and i really care about him. Hes upset that iam going to see Micheal, but this is something that has to be done. Micheal is one of my bestfriends. I havent been to his world yet. Hes been to mine a few good times. So its my turn. If this is going to be an equal friendship. TJ just wants to make sure iam coming back. and like i said over and over again iam coming back! Nothing can keep me from my family. I start school the 20th. for pharmacy Tech so this is my little summer vacation. D baby messaged me on myspace the other day. Iam excited to see how he is doing now a days. Its been a while since ive hurd from him. Im not going to tell TJ about him. He will flip. He says i know to many guys for him to be comfortable with it. Sorry BAbe... it comes with the territory. My mom got a job again...:( so now iam house mom since im not working anymore. Its alright but its made me come to the conclusion that i dont want to be a housewife anymore. Its a boring job! Maybe when i have kids then i can be at home but without that responsiblity... Uhh no! my main goal right now is to finish school get a job at the hospital get my own place and work so TJ can go to school. He wants another job really bad and i dont blame him. I just hope that everything goes to plan. TJ attended the meeting with me on Sunday. It was really nice, he paid attention alot. I hope he is sincere in him coming i think it will help him get on track. Hes used to this non caring life style and its not getting him very far. He needs help and i cant help the non willing to help themselves.WEll anyways....

Im here at Tim and Keeshas chillin! :D like a villian! lol :P u know me. Well.. im gunna get off here and do nothing :D latersss luv yasss alllllll :D

BLurrrzzzzzzzzzits

Grrrrrrrreattttttttt!
Yeah sooooo..... My family dont like TJ. and they arent warming up to him.. lol My mom knows the deal and she told me that if i dont st op hanging with him.. im lookin for trouble! OO WEll.. Im not lookin for it.. but if it comes to be ill deal with it. :D

So Johnnys tooth is all messed up and its been hurting him bad! So i got some stuff from my cuzin for it and i hope it works. I felt ba d his face was all swollen and stuff.. Poor boy! Im hoping ill see Andrea Soon. i miss her sooo much!! Thats my gurl.. one of the only gurls i really get along with. I guess its cause we both are like.. We dont get along with other gurls.. lol so we understand each other to that extent.

Went to the graduation Comensement on Thursday. It was really nice, I wanted to cry cause its like.. damn.. i was here not to long ago. Well.. ok 3 years but still it made me sad. Im getting really old. and my little sister who died would have graduated on that day. :( My mom really wanted to go for that reason. Elisa would be 18! I wonder what it would be like to have a lil sister of my own. Instead of adopting other 18 yrs olds as my sister. Its crazy. i think me andher would have been really really close.. Causing trouble together.. instead of me alone. Makes me ill. I understand to a certain extent what its like losing someone very special to you. I lost my Grandma when i was in 11th grade andi thought i was gunna lose my mind. But ive spent soo many years with her. And losing my sister.. i didnt even know her. I knew she didnt come home i was 3 years old. I didnt know what happened. TJ lost his son Isreal when he was 3 months old. I cant imagine how that feels. I know my mom still suffers on Elisa birthday. But his whole life fell apart when hislil boy died. His gurl went crazy things never where the same he says.. he lost her and his son I dont know.. i think that that should have brought them closer together. But in reality it didnt. I guess thats the only part of life that really scares me. Losing Someone that i made. Or like my husband. I dont know what i would do. You start to make your own life and it gets taken from you. Its not like you can start all over with someone new and just forget about what you had. That will always be a part of you, you will never forget the life u planned on having! Yeah thats why im so insistant on wanting to start my life early. So i have more time with my husband if something later on in life where to happen. Or maybe im just a worry wort! i unno ...

Well im here all alone at work till 1230 Then Tasha comes in. Im goint to pick up TJ when i get off work from work. I dunno whats gunna happen today, i think i might go home and take a nap. and maybe to the mall to look at cell phones. Cause i wanna get mine back,. Ive been soo lazy in getting one. But TJ and i Agreeed that we both need cell phones. Grrrrtaegissssssssssss!


Well im outta here :D

I wear my sunglasses at night!

I have been.... cause ive been doing alot of.. sneaking around lately!! Since iam forbidden to see TJ i have been sneaking to see him. I think my mom and dad kinda figure that im out with him when i say.. im gunna take a walk.. and i dont come back for like... uhhh a while. Im not sure exactly how things are going between us. We have seen each other everyday, and its been nice, but we arent talking about dating... When it comes to ppl asking me if im singel i always say no. Cause technically im not. There are many different aspects to consider when dealin with that question. But yeah... anyways. I am just hangin in here.. tryin to last.... Kinda sucks. but hey.. What can i do?

Interviewed!

Yesterday after i got outta work i went to pick up my lil cuzin Courtney and we went for a walk to TJ's place. I met his lil boy Xavier! Hes soo cute! hes 4 years old Hes adorable! he got that mean mug face like his dad but once hes around you for a few he starts to smile and its soo freakin cute! TJ was actin like a goof ball lastnight! Im like babe.. calm down! People are lookin at you like u crazy! He is when hes had a few good beers! But its ok i dont mind! My parents still dont want me with him. But i think they are starting to calm down about it, My mom basically knows that hes gunna be around me. I gotta get my own cell phone already, next good pay check im gunna go get one. Maybe 2 so that i can keep in contact with him and not have to Talk to Johnny everytime i need to talk to him. Kinda retarted huh. well.. yeah i dont have anything else interesting :D

Reunited with a past crush!!

Things are actually weird. I went to McDonalds the other day and i saw a old crush of mine... and now im his crush.. lol He flipped when he saw me! All i could do was laugh! I was suprised when he asked me for my phone number, i gave him the number to reach me. And he called! We talked from 9till 2 in the morning. It was actually a wonderfully awesome conversation. I couldnt stop smiling the whole entire time. Things are kinda crazy right now. Im still unsure of whats going to happen,and what i want to happen. His name is TJ. No TJ doest stand for anything.. its just TJ. I had a really really big crush on him when i was in Jr andhe was a senior. I used to help him with this Govt homework.. so he could graduate. He treated me like i was his lil sister, but now its not like that anymore. Im not really sure whats its like now! If i figure it would ill let you know.

Iam a LIAR!!

ok so i lied.... Iam keeping the guys in my life in my life.. im such a sucker! They can so easily work their way back into my heart... like nothing,anyways, This past weekend was nice, Got some sun... tanned... got a lil burnt, but im still looking fly! lol :P dont be jealous. You all can tan too:D Memorial Day was nice, My aunt Maria had a cookout so i had to spend the day with my family and without my good friend Mikey. But he called me and wanted to come down but when i told him it was at My cuzins...(angela) hes like nevermind! He dont like her very much!! lol For reasons that iam not going to display but we all know. Yup.... And yesterday i just chilled out around... Stayed outside for like a few good hourss in the sun! Me and my baby oil. Goodtimes... goodtimes!
Onto other things, My eyebrows have been such a pain! They got messed up When i moved to NC they lady jacked me up, so im still trying to get them back in good standings. Today was alot better then every other day ive tried. I hate letting them grow back cause i look so... hairy! i dont like it! Anyways, i was letting them for a 2 weeks grow and i think it did some good. Cause they are kinda ok now.. there still is some work to be done but its getting there. Iam letting my nails grow too.. Micheal wants me to get then done before i go to visit... So ill do it for him. But for now i think iam going to try and let mine grow. see how long i can get them on my own. My check is sooo going to suck for this week.. Cause i was short! And i have to pay rent. :D isnt like just wonderful! but after all that is done! The money i get is going into a savings account! :D Casue my FAT HEAD is bad at saving money!! lol
well... leaving.. for now!

Over Everything....

I have spend some good time in my life trying to make everything ok with certain ppl. As of now, im OVER IT! Iam so sick of trying to do things right and make ppl happy when they could give less then 2 fucks and a can of coke! Im done loving people. Family ok yeah i have to, The men in my life... DONE! I need someone who is gunna know what he wants, Who is gunna be a man! No a lil pussy whiped asshole! I know I sound really mean but oooo well! Im done with bein nice to the guys when all they do is play and treat me like shit! I have ruined alot of potential relationships for someone, and he could give to cares. Cause hes confused... Hes not sure what he wants. Well.. Im makin a desision for you. Leave me alone. Dont bother me with ur inconsistant emotions and your horney tendencies. Yeah.. sex is great. When its done right! And who knows what you can do, Ive given up on even caring! I know what its like to really really want someone back, I spend many years wishing i could have someone back, (D) and when i did... i realized no matter how many times we try or tried, there is something missing. I will never stop caring and missing and loving him, but im not gunna spend my life wondering if i should move on. or make the next step. I cant waste my time making things hard for myself. As i said yesterday while i was at work, Im not talking to u anymore! I cant deal with the issues you have. There are some (secrets) i can deal with and not say anything about cause they could ruin ur life and im good for them ok. im not gunna say nothing! But you make me feel like crap! All the time. You tell me u love me, which is fine, and u want me to believe you mean it. I dont. I cant. There is just somethings that have gotta change and u and i arent willing to change on a certain level. So be it! If you feel the need to talk to me about this.. or want to make things ok then u know how to get a hold of me. "But if u think that things can keep on going the way they are then let me freshen your memory. NO THEY WILL NOT CONTINUE THIS WAY! i wont let it. I will leave again and this time. No contact, No blogs, no texts nothing. And ill do it, as much as it will hurt me and drive me crazy cause ill miss you ill do it. Ill start me a fresh page like u never exsisted! You let me know what u want from me. And ill let you know what i want from you. On this note... im leaving ...